Love > Dirt

I tried to talk about Love.
But you began to talk about Dirt.
Expressing regret with no preposition.

I thought so many things.
Too many to mention.
If revealed, my heart would no longer be where it belongs.

Your lack of achievement is not something I would be envious of.
Your soil has no quality.
Its poison destroys progression.

I wandered into the path you follow.
Nervous, frightened and worried.
The Dirt quickly dragged me in.

It tried to lead me towards its destination.
It did halfway.
I stopped it, I wasn’t foolish, I knew that the Dirt path would not lead me to what I wanted.
I wanted Love.

A light struck from behind me.
The darkness ahead trembled in my presence.
Love is not fearful, Love is powerful.

Dirt can be molded in any shape or pattern.
With ease It can be crushed.
Your soil has no quality.

I turned around and followed the Light.
I took a step, I stumbled.
I took another step, and that step led to another.

Right before my eyes stood Love.

Realize that Dirt will always be dirt.
And Love eternal forever.

Last Remarks

This will be the last time I speak of you, I promise.

I want to apologize for being so cruel and saying things I shouldn't have said. There's a quote that says "he who angers you conquers you," you conquered me. I was so upset that you betrayed me. So upset you did me wrong. One of the few people I thought I could trust turned their back on me. I don't know why your sister said that guys don't like me because I'm clingy and obsessive we both know that I am not any of those things, the reason why I've been single is because I don't chase after guys and deal with them when they do something I don't like. But that's besides the point. I didn't even write that wall post, I don't think your sister should have said those things about me. Especially that I was a "bitch" and should "burn in hell." I in turn hope that you make it to Heaven!

That girl I knew, that girl I called my best friend is a stranger to me now. I don't know who you are anymore or what you have become. I don't know why.. but ever since you met Hugo it was like you were possessed by the devil. I lost you. I lost my friend. I don't want you to think I am jealous because what he's done has no name. I couldn't imagine being with someone that resembles a white-washed tomb. All the negative aspects hinder his good looks. Now I know why looks shouldn't matter. When the right person comes along I'll know. There's no need to be jealous of a guy like him, it's a waste of my emotions. From the moment I had trouble sharing my beliefs with him I knew he was not of God. I just grew that feeling.

He proved me right. Look at what he did to us. To believe I even told him you would never consider talking to him in that way because I thought you were different. I thought you were my friend. It's been a terrible week for me. Around this time last year I lost my old best friend and now I lost you.

What made you do the things you did?
What did I do to you?
Your sister said after the incident with so-and-so that I hurt you.
Why did you continue being my friend?
You hurt yourself, what you did was not my fault.

I tried to help make you a better person.
I always helped you in any way I could.
I cannot perceive why you would do that to me, why you would end a friendship just like that with no reason.

I'm so confused, frustrated, overwhelmed.
I wish you would answer my questions.
I wish you wouldn't have been a coward and talked to me about it.
I wish things would have been different.

You didn't even take your own advice.

Take care of yourself! Don't do something you'll regret later. I don't want you getting hurt. I still care for you.
I didn't just go from loving you to hating you from one day to another.
You just pushed me away for a guy. Which let me remind you.. wouldn't be in your life right now had it not been for me. Had I never mentioned to him to you he would be non existent in your life.
I hope he doesn't hurt you. I mean that with all my heart!

But that is why I needed to be like George Washington who once said to:
"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation."

I'm not expecting you to apologize to me.
Repent to God.

I won't forget all the good times we've shared together and the laughs. You were a blast.
Thank you for having been there for me (while we were still friends).

Love Always,
Brigitte

I talked to her!

The most happiest day I think I've ever lived yet.

It happened after school.
I literally felt as though God placed her right in front of me and pushed me to talk to her.
It was crazy!
She turned super red and had a smaile from ear to ear I don't know why people said she's mean.
Anyway,
I was so nervious and didn't know what to say but I was able to speak to her for a little bit.

It's only the beginning..

I tried talking to her again this past week but she's really reserved and I want to get her to break out of her shell.
I need to figure out better ways to talk to her.

A kid once called me a "hippo."

I believe that everyone has the power to change someone's life with the love of God.

People are constantly getting their feelings hurt.
People are constantly peer pressured to do things they shouldn't be doing.
People are always singling others out and treating them like worthless beings.

So much cruelty! I'm sure everyone at some point has been told something that affected them in some sort of way leading them to act the way they do.

But let me ask you something.. what if you could break that cycle?
How amazing to think you were a part of showing the world the love God has for you and for everyone else!

I've been watching this girl for the past two weeks.
Miserable and lonely. I'm no one to judge but those are obvious observations.
I grew this desire to approach her, to speak to her, to be her friend.
But I didn't do it.

My sister told me she was mean, but I didn't care.
People are not mean without a cause.

Today a friend told me that she eats lunch by herself. My heart broke into pieces.
How would you feel if no one wanted to be around you? Wouldn't you want a friend to be there for you by your side?
Many of us find ourselves choosing our friends instead of making them.

Hebrews 12:3 says: Think about Jesus' example. He held on while wicked people were doing evil things to him. So do not get tired and stop trying.

& that is exactly what I am going to do.

Not many people intervene in the middle of a fight to stop the madness.
A lot of you see a friend verbally abusing another person and you keep your mouth quiet. Stop hurting yourselves.

I've been put down, growing up being told I was fat. A kid once called me a "hippo" I know what's like to not "fit in."

Fear

Regardless of what people thought I was willing to give you a chance.
Willing to see how far things would go.
I thought you were different. But you haven't proved me wrong.. yet.
Wanting to be with someone means putting problems aside.
The simple sound of your voice, the one that makes my stomach twist and turn cries out for you.
The thought of you being here with me at this very moment, wishing it would never end makes me want you even more.
At times like these, I don't know what I want.
I'm so young and so innocent.
I trust too easily and find myself getting hurt often.
It only takes a few seconds to answer the phone.
It only takes a few seconds to tell you how I feel.
Letting it sit there to ring is like a never ending story.
I never know when it's going to stop, I never know if you'll even pick up.
I know it's too soon, but I tend to over think things a lot.
I guess it's my problem like anger is yours.
I'm so afraid.
Afraid of love, afraid of what you think of me, afraid that you'll walk all over me like the others.
Girls like me, don't date guys like you.
I don't know why I like you, or why I'm so confused. I think I'm not the only one that feels this way.
It's hard to say we'll have a future if you don't even have a future for yourself.
I'm not like those other girls you've met before.
I'm different, my experiences are what have made me the person I am today.
Maybe that's why girls like me are so hard to find, I care too much.
Why must you be so busy all the time? I hate that word. You don't even work. I don't think you know the meaning of busy. I'm busy all the time. But if I could, I'd talk to you all the time just to hear your voice and forget about the rest.
But I can't make you change, you are you and I am me.

-Brigitte

Apology

Your apology was enough.
You have no idea how much it meant to me.
I feel like I can finally breathe again, as if all the chaos ended and my worries were finally gone.
I thank you, but most of all I thank God for making this possible.